Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize