We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need to calm my uterus...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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