I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
