Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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