My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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