I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
