pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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