But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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