God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
