You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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