At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
