Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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