That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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