; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
