I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
