I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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