You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I can't turn off my feet"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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