We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
