We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
