I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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