So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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