i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
