Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
