I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
They took my balls.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
