Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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