love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
