Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
