i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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