Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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