Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
