I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
