normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
