would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
