Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I've blown a few things in my day
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
