he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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