the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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