I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
