the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
