Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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