so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
