I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i love accidental penises.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
