RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
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Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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