You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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