shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
