Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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