for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
