what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
