What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
