Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
