He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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