the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize