The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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