He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
