It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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