You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
