Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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